Cupcakes (yes I am calling you that...just roll with it)
I recently had what I would call a MELTDOWN...yup a full blown tear-jerker in front of my Trainer. Trainer (as we will now call him) is a lovely man (I don't think he would like to be called lovely, I would say maybe sarcastic dry sense of humour?) who has been helping to whip my butt into shape and take no nonsense from me. I honestly love working out with him and feel I push myself well beyond the point I normally would. He is fabulous!
I was having a bad day last week and decided to hell with this god-awful diet. I am going to splurge, buy a cookie, throw out HALF and just enjoy a little guilty pleasure. How crazy is that that? Normally a fruit would have sufficed, but that too is off limits for me right now. So, I go and eat this half cookie and low and behold TRAINER CATCHES ME! What are the chances of something like that happening? I felt so guilty about this cookie that I didn't even get to enjoy it and stewed over it all day and was fretting over my following session with him the next morning. I was even thinking of excuses not to go and hopefully he would forget what he saw.
Instead I sucked it up and went. Trainer asked me about the cookie and I full out cried. It was ugly and awful and just plain wrong! But he rolled with the punches. And was more than supportive. I really thought I was in for a HUGE scolding.
Regardless of my Meltdown, I am 60 days shy of competing and I CANNOT WAIT! I love the training aspect of it I mean I adore being in the gym. Crazy right? It's the dieting and limiting what I can eat that makes me crazy. I have however found a great group of fitness bloggers who have been helping me move along just by listening to their stories. BikiniorBUst is one of them as is my Twitter friend and fellow competitor @BeccaheartsEggs. Its wonderful to have people out there take no nonsense either.
And when those people come and tell you well "what's one bite? And what's one sip?" Or want to "tempt" you to fall off the rails, that's when you need to stick to your guns the most.
I am learning this the hard way. And I ask you now more then ever to help support me in the last leg of my journey, because I can only surround myself with people who are positive and can SUPPORT me...(not judge or question or make fun).
So...this has clearly turned into a rant but the point of this post was also to tell you about my Carb cycling and what I am eating for the next few weeks. Which is why my emotions are so high and low.